the one about the two years.

written on saturday august 11th, 2007:

let me warn you.

this is going to be scary, or at least it could be.

i am currently holding two of my old journals in my hand. I am going to write exactly what it says for August 11, that or the closest date to that...

written on wednesday august 14th, 2007:

let me assure you that i decided NOT to do that.

good grief was i a basket case.. maybe i still am.

the two journals that i randomly picked were from my first and second years of college.... those two years could go down as the weirdest two years of my life. don't get me wrong, i had alot of fun, but my oh my was i confused.

i wrote so much that to just write what one day said would make no sense, because every post related to the one before. i remember actually freaking out a little bit when i would realize that i forgot my journal at home, that i didn't take it with me to class. if i would have spent as much time studying as i did writing i probably would have finished school early.

this is not really a story.

i describe myself as a basket case, but if i were a member of the breakfast club, i would have been the prom queen... i would like to think i have a talent other than putting lipstick on with my boobs... but, i was definitely as dramatic and confused as she was. i was expected to be a certain way, and i was trying hard not to be that way i think, trying hard to prove that i was different... but, i really wasn't any different than i ever was.

some of my friends thought i was rebelling, but i never did anything arrest worthy... i think i was just trying to burst out of the bubble that i lived in during high school.

if i could, would i go back and change those years? no. i think if they were different then maybe i would still be confused. i have often heard that after you graduate high school the first few years that you are in college you go from being a mature semi adult back to acting like you are in middle school. i completely agree. i will probably argue with you if you say i am wrong, because i am not.

those two years i was constantly looking for acceptance, love, and happiness... i think i found all of those things at time along with rejection, hate, and depression.

could i be more dramatic?

i promise a new REAL story very soon.

~smb